The Way My Mind Works

Every time I put on gloves in the winter, I think about Batman.

I can’t do much when I’m wearing them, even my soft, flexible, close-fitting ones. I was trying to find a lipstick in my purse with them on the other morning, and I finally gave up and pulled off the gloves, because they were just too inhibiting.

Batman with gloves

Which always makes me wonder how Batman does everything he does with gloves on. Here, for instance, he’s apparently testing for either pulse or temperature through his gloves. What are they made of? Some kind of super-mix of leather and latex?

(Image courtesy of Polite Dissent, which has lately done a couple of great year-end roundups covering the best and worst comic book medicine of 2006.)

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15 Responses to “The Way My Mind Works”

  1. Barry Says:

    Another winter clothing/superhero costume comparison: whenever I put my winter coat hood up, I lose almost all of my peripheral vision. Which leads me to believe that Batman would basically get his ass kicked his first 5 minutes out in the field, since he can barely see who’s coming at him out of that mask. As a side note, if you ever watch any of the Batman movies, you’ll notice that none of the actors can actually turn their necks. When they turn to the side, they’re turning their entire bodies.

    And let’s not get into why Superman is wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants…

  2. Dwight Williams Says:

    Some kind of super-mix of something. I’d imagine it’s a closely held trade secret of WayneTech’s material sciences division. Armoured, yet able to allow the wearer to detect a pulse…something that paramedics and military corpsmen would give eyeteeth to get.

  3. Greg McElhatton Says:

    It’s probably similar to the technical fabric gloves I use when I’m running. It was a real eye-opener to finally have gloves in which I can do things with, and which also don’t get sweaty and nasty within about five minutes of being on the trail!

  4. Johanna Says:

    Barry: good observation.

    Greg: but do they keep your hands warm?

  5. David Oakes Says:

    “Some kind of super-mix of leather and latex?”

    I think pretty well sums up how Batman has been written, since, oh, 1986.

    But yes, the real suspension of disbelief in comics is not flying men, but the ability to look good in spandex.

  6. Greg McElhatton Says:

    Surprisingly warm! I love them so much that I use them for general winter weather stuff as well. (And, one thing that amuses me terribly is that the gloves have an extra little flap at the end of the wrists on the inside with a magnet, so when you take the gloves off, they can snap together and you don’t spend twenty minutes trying to find one missing glove.) They’re from Brooks, and these are the ones I have (although there’s a snazzy red stripe on mine) but I’m sure there are non-branded ones available as well if anyone’s interested.

  7. Anon E. Mouse Says:

    Well, the narration block does say “Rigor mortis. The stink of the corpse.” I’m no expert on these things but from what little I now of forensics a 72-hour old corpse is pretty hard to mistake for a living-but-comatose person.

    Mind you, the drawing and coloring of said corpse doesn’t look like he’s been ripening for 72 hours but I suppose we can chalk that up to the artist and editor’s delicate sensibilities.

  8. Johanna Says:

    That’s the reason Scott posted that image — there wouldn’t be any rigor mortis after 72 hours (3 days). So why do you think Batman was touching him — to verify (non-existent) stiffness?

  9. Lyle Says:

    Barry, regarding the underwear-on-the-outside thing, I read that aspect of Superman’s outfit was inspired by circus acrobats who’d wear a pair of (equally tight) shorts over their skintight leotard for modesty’s sake at the time.

  10. Anon E. Mouse Says:

    Johanna — assuming the corpse has been outdoors in an urban environment in moderate (judging by the clothes) temperatures for 72 hours, I think Bats would be well advised to be wearing gloves when he touches it.

  11. Johanna Says:

    Of course, but my question was, why bother touching him at all unless he’s trying to learn something from it?

  12. Anon E. Mouse Says:

    We are talking about somebody who copes with loss and childhood tragedy by dressing up in a funny looking suit. 9D

  13. Tommy Raiko Says:

    Of course, but my question was, why bother touching him at all unless he’s trying to learn something from it?

    I haven’t seen any more of the story than this panel, but I could accept that maybe he’s just turning the corpse over. I mean, all the C.S.I. shows show corpse-turning as a major part of the investigative process… (Tho’ when I think of that, I can’t think of anything but the scene from, I think, Spike Lee’s movie Clockers that preceded all them C.S.I.s)

  14. Johanna Says:

    Right, right, I forgot the key step of corpse-turning. Heh.

  15. caleb Says:

    Regarding gloved superheroes, I always wonder about Hal Jordan. Dude wears a ring over his glove. How exactly does that work?

    why bother touching him at all unless he’s trying to learn something from it?

    I have a smart-ass answer to that, but I’ll just keep it to myself.

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